DOUBLE HOMEWORK: The Official PatreonGamer Review
Double Homework was the second and last «epic» game from Palmer, the somewhat enigmatic and extraordinary game developer who apparently died before the game was officially completed (so his partners at Love-Joint had to put on the finishing touches before him). Keeping that in mind, my first and foremost recommendation for Double Homework is this — do NOT play it BEFORE having given a try to Palmer’s previous game, Daughter For Dessert. By almost any accounts, Daughter For Dessert is better — or, at least, should go down easier on the beginning player — and if you like it enough, you might want to proceed to its «spiritual sequel», Double Homework; but if you are already frustrated with DfD, I see absolutely no reason why you should ever bother with Double Homework. It is a game that does not at all learn on its creator’s mistakes; instead, it takes his weirdly warped vision to an extreme that only dedicated fans will want to follow.
On a purely technical basis, Double Homework shares all the same flaws as its predecessor. It runs on the same unique Love-Joint game engine, with a slightly embellished interface (for instance, hiding the game control hub now gives you a cutesy little «eye» button to click on rather than the original ugly word «show») but pretty much all of the clumsy features of the original in place — the unbearably lengthy screen transitions, the separate chapters which cannot be played continuously, the cumbersome save system and so on. Apparently, the game was designed to be only played online, so it constantly «uploads» new content which creates tediously unnecessary wait periods every once in a while. Of course, if the intended plan was to prevent piracy of the game, it failed rather miserably (plus, since eventually all of the episodes except for the kinetic epilogues go free anyway, I fail to see what this fuss with the independent game engine was all about).
In terms of visuals, Double Homework also follows the pattern of Daughter For Dessert: most of the action takes place against static backgrounds, with pretty, but predictable cut figures of the characters shifted around the screen. Actual renders, beautiful as they typically are, remain few and far in between, and no animations are provided. There will be long — VERY long — stretches of dialog during which your only visual stimulus will be those well-memorized sprites, and you WILL be tempted to abuse the skip button even if you manage to become engaged in the plot (which is not the easiest thing in the world). There is no voice acting, either, although that may be a good thing (Palmer tried to have stretches of voice acting for his ladies in Daughter For Dessert, but they usually came out flat and lifeless).
Finally, in terms of gameplay Double Homework is generally more like a kinetic novel than an actual choice-based game. In the first several episodes, about 90% of your choices will only result in slightly different dialog flavor, and the other 10% are there only to give you the option to lock yourself out of some sexy content (on the occasion that, for instance, you do not want to romantically pursue anybody other than the two main female characters — whom, on the other hand, you are OBLIGATED to pursue by the plot). Later on, occasional choices become more significant — there will be a couple or so different pathways you can take with your classmates — but never significant enough to let you make that much of an impact on the story. Basically, it’s a single, marginally coherent story here that Palmer wanted to tell, and he is simply taking you for a ride, not even bothering to properly set up any illusions of genuine agency.
Now the story itself. This is probably the main reason why I urge everybody to hold off playing and judging the game before you have given a proper chance to Daughter For Dessert. On a pure and simple level of judgement, next to his previous game — which had a pretty ridiculous story itself — Double Homework represents an even bolder step into the realm of facepalming. More precisely, the story is SO utterly inane that it is almost inconceivable an actual human being wrote it. Taking a bunch of clichés from psychological melodramas, mystery thrillers, and teen sex comedies, Palmer mixes them into a concoction that manages to be unrealistic, over-dramatic, illogical, unfunny, and boring all at the same time. His characters inhabit some sort of parallel universe where entities resembling human beings live according to their own laws, talk their own talk, walk their own walk, and, well, fuck their own fuck, which makes it pretty damn hard to relate to their issues.
It all starts right from the original premise. At least in Daughter For Dessert, the initial setup was clear — you were the owner of a diner and a widowed father living with your daughter, a situation not wholly unimaginable. In Double Homework, you are seemingly a college-aged guy, a professional athlete and skiier training for the Olympics (!), living in an apartment with two of your «friends»... well, obviously the game implies that they are your sisters, otherwise nothing makes any sense at all — the default definition of «friends» (which you can luckily change in the settings) is really only there to sidetrack Patreon censorship. But if you are their brother and they are your cute redheaded sisters, where are your parents? The nature and circumstances of this relationship are never explained; we know absolutely nothing of the MC’s background other than that he is sort of an introverted jock type — a walking contradiction if there ever was one, but there are plenty more like that all over the game.
All three siblings are studying (unclear what) at their local school/college, and two out of three have to take special summer classes because they failed the previous year (it is clear why the MC failed, but never really made clear why Johanna, the brightest of the three, has followed him on the same path). What are these classes? What are they studying? Why do they only have one assigned professor? Palmer never explains any of these details properly; instead, he is too busy channelling us into the inner world of his main character’s thoughts and worries, which, in order of magnitude, seem to be lodged somewhere in between Shakespeare’s Hamlet and Dostoyevsky’s Raskolnikov. That’s not a crime in itself, there is nothing wrong trying to inject a little world-weariness and deep psychology into a porn game. The crime is that deep psychology needs at least some fundamental basis in surrounding reality. At the very least, Raskolnikov did commit a terrible crime; in Double Homework, the author tries to generate psychological tension around the fact that a classmate is trying to blackmail the hero for having wasted hours of his precious time playing video games, instead of saving kittens and caring for little old ladies. And no, it does not get any more serious as things go on.
Sure, there is the issue of some terribly tragic incident that did take place during our hero’s last bout of Olympic training, allegedly ruining his life, inadvertently turning him into an object of other people’s manipulation and ultimately driving him to do unimaginable things with his sexy sisters. But we don’t get to learn the exact details of this drama at the beginning — we just have to accept that it happened and now our protagonist is suffering a mental breakdown — and when we DO learn them, much later in the game... well, let’s just say, pretty much EVERY unexpected plot twist in Double Homework is usually unexpected because we cannot expect a plot twist to be SO utterly moronic. The drama in this game works better as unintentional comedy, except that the humor in the game does not really work, either. There is too much pretense to spectacular psychological writing, and it always fails.
That said, by the end of the game, when logic and sense proceed from getting permanently abused to becoming dismembered and drowned in vats of acid, I found myself strangely resigned, almost willing to give in to Palmer’s new laws of literary gravity. When one of the MC’s potential love interests, the reclusive Twitch-streaming girl Amy, turns out to be the princess daughter of the local royalty, I discovered that I was no longer surprised, just willing to go with the frickin’ flow. After all, every single porn game ever made is absurdist fantasy, it’s just that some, like Double Homework, pretend to be more realistic than others by embracing elements of 19th century literature style. Why not simply admit that Double Homework places you inside an alternate reality after all and just take it as it comes? A reality in which an antagonist such as Dennis is really a threat, not just a sorry spoiled whiner coming up with the most ridiculous schemes ever to spoil your life which, in the real world, could only work on those who have even less intellect than the antagonist?
Thus, if you remember to rewire your brain in accordance with the new rules of «Palmer reality», the story will have an element of intrigue — although no rewiring will be able to excuse the fact that pretty long stretches of the game still have nothing happening, and that it would have been easy to condense it in half and not lose anything of major importance. (Then again, I guess we could press the same charges for a lot of classic literature, especially all those novels originally written on a pay-per-word basis). At the very least, you might get yourself interested enough in playing each new episode just to see where the crazy story is going to take you this time. Also, on a side note, the «last episode recap» sequences by Tamara and Johanna at the beginning of each new chapter are usually quite hilarious.
But, of course, the main point of Double Homework is not the story by itself — it only matters inasmuch as it influences your sexy encounters. And here is the most important thing: this game will probably be endearing to you only if you ever found yourself in a situation somewhat mirroring the protagonist’s — namely, feeling depressed, miserable, guilt-ridden for whatever reasons and fantasizing about one, or two, or a multitude of beautiful, intelligent, quirky, sympathetic girls (maybe even starting with your own sister/s/, if you got ’em) coming along and saving you from your miserable existence. Be it through pleasant conversation, mild flirting, or hot, reckless sex going all the way from a timid handjob to wild anal rides.
This is the one and only thing that Double Homework does really, really well. All of your potential love interests are introduced early on in the game and you are perfectly free to select any number of them, based on your preferences, to slowly deepen (figuratively and literally) your relationship as the game limps along. There is plenty of diversity here — all the girls have different, if rather predictably clichéd, personalities: the Barbie (Lauren), the Rebel (Megan), the Twitch Geek (Amy), the Sports Achiever (Rachel), and, of course, your two sisters are direct opposites in terms of personality as well — gentle and sympathetic Johanna vs. cynical and manipulative Tamara (though deep down inside, naturally, she is just as loving and caring as her younger sibling). And yes, if I were a melancholic, depressed student in some faraway college in some provincial shithole, being surrounded by such an outstanding pack of understanding ladies would definitely be the ultimate blissful fantasy. Particularly since Palmer goes to great lengths to shape their personalities — in the usual manner: first introducing them as stereotypes, then showing us how there’s so much more to them than meets the eye and everything. (I think that poor sweet Johanna is pretty much the only one in the pack who doesn’t really have any noticeable character development).
Unfortunately, while all the girls are good, sweet, nicely rendered and
everything, they still do not reach the same lovable (or fappable, for that
matter) standards as the ones in Daughter
For Dessert. The sex scenes, once you finally get to them, tend to be
shorter than before, and usually represented by smaller numbers of renders, as
if so much of Palmer and Love-Joint’s energy went into crafting their inane
story and long-winded dialog, they just didn’t have any left to give us more
than 4–5 steamy pictures per sex scene. And somehow, while at its best DfD really made me fall in love with
the characters (almost dying for a possible Amanda / Kathy / Heidi / Lily harem
ending), the ladies in Double Homework
are nowhere near as magnetic. Even the spicy, freckled, red-headed sisters feel
a bit lifeless and perfunctory, not to mention everyone else. Maybe it’s the
effect of so much drama — the sex scenes in DfD were often light-hearted and giddy, whereas here the
«seriousness» of the plot presses down so heavily all the time. But maybe it’s
just the relative laziness of the art designers. (Relative, mind you. There is still enough content in the game to
bring you to ecstasy multiple times, if you just let it.)
Still, despite all the badmouthing, I do not regret for one second about playing the game to the end. It helps that my own introverted nature (then again, aren’t most people who play these games probably introverted as heck?) allowed me to at least occasionally identify with the MC, and the fantasy of being brought back to life from near-emotional death by a squad of cute, quirky college girls lining up at your door is a nice one, not to mention that Palmer has (had) his own unique manner of presenting it. It could have been so much better, but so could just about everything. Give it a try — but only, as I already said, if you got your kicks out of Daughter For Dessert first. (Or you can just watch my complete playthrough — there is so little agency in the game that it doesn’t really make much difference whether you press any keys yourself or not, and you’ll save yourself the annoying trouble of «downloading assets» for eternity).